every is impermanent

Ask me anything   Submit   40. single mom. libra. tiger. owl. raven. freelance writer. mindfulness. martial arts. teacher. poet. twisted. compassionate. supernatural. falling skies. laugher. sexy. beautiful. awesome. you deal with it.

I fucking hate you Jeroen Hendriks. The only person in this world whose death I might actually rejoice. Might. A hatred I feel from the bottom of my stomach and my soul. 

— 7 hours ago

I don’t feel extreme hatred. For the most part. Not something that coils inside my heart and wanting to strike incessantly. Today, I felt it. For the man who had shared my bed for the last 13 years and whose child I had borne. Only the love for my child stops me from committing absolute murder. If for one blind moment I forget myself, we would both surely die. That is all I can say. Only the love for my child keeps this burning rage fenced.

— 7 hours ago with 2 notes

It looks like my divorce settlement has failed. Sigh. I am going to court again and this time he has to get another lawyer instead of using the same one. Sigh. This is going to get really ugly.

— 12 hours ago

Princess Leia putting her arms around C-3PO as he leans in for a kiss.


Princess Leia putting her arms around C-3PO as he leans in for a kiss.

— 13 hours ago with 105 notes
a thought from yesterday

Last night, while I was sparring at my center, I was looking at myself in the mirror. I realized I had learned how to dance at the ball of my feet while I was in my fighting stance. My face was scrunched up like I am the most baddass mutha in the world. This is automatic as I went for my swings. The boys are a little afraid of my swings. The Proff says my swings are fast. This is awesome. All I need now is perfect technique.

I saw a different woman in the mirror, whose body has elongated, straightened up and stretched, flowing while I dance at the balls of my feet. Am I losing weight or gaining posture? Maybe both. But muay thai training in such a short time has stretched me well enough that I feel lighter and I’m able to touch my toes. Somewhat. I never could do that.

This has gone from being playful to some serious business and seriously wanting to learn how to fight and engage an opponent. If I could beat one of those guys at my center one of these days, I know I will be ready to protect others. 

The first week, I felt awkward dancing but now, there is no other way. You cannot engage in muay thai without dancing. I also get lots of punches and force against me being the feeder. This is great. Puts hair on my chest, makes me strong. Some of the force I take, knocks the wind out of me a little but I feel good. From my batch, I’m the only once who is dancing.

This is the best sport I have ever learned. It gives me power, strength, agility, discipline and hope. I know martial arts is not for everyone but its saving my life right now. Shows it is never too late to learn martial arts. Never. I am 40. ;-)

— 16 hours ago with 1 note
#muay thai  #kickboxing  #martial arts 
If I ate strawberries this big will I get bigger boobies and hair on chest???

If I ate strawberries this big will I get bigger boobies and hair on chest???

(Source: romwe, via etherealshit)

— 16 hours ago with 3400 notes
#dessert  #strawberries  #chocolate 
It’s time

It’s time I listed down all the attributes I look for in a man for my next adventure in relationship shenanigans. So I don’t lust after 20 year old Dutch guys at my muay thai training place sheesh..

1) He must be very tall - 6’ and over

2) Somewhat fit with some work-outs during the week. Hopefully martial arts. This will motivate me too when we are together and we can spar while I kick his ass. Very important foreplay.

3) Must be a university graduate. Masters better. Double masters or degrees awesome. PHD-don’t even go there, this is a ++

4) Somewhat attractive. Good looking is not really an attribute in a sense that he is attractive. I do like blondes because they are very different on my skin. Novelty never wore off I guess for me. Shoot me. Though not overtly important

5) Very important. Over 40 but not more than 55. I’m still sexually active like a bunny, so the age has to tally with the expiry date. I will however consider over 35.

6) Speaks well, dresses well, not an absolute slob, some slobbiness is OK I guess.

7) Children who come with him will be good. I don’t mind at all. Even if they hate me because they won’t hate me for long.

8) Funny like hell. This is a tie breaker though. I don’t mind the know it all too. Someone happy most times.


10) Spiritual but not overtly religious. Some acceptance of Buddhist concepts will be great. Some knowledge in Asian and Hinduism is a bonus but who cares.

11) Must love science fiction, reading, movies and music. I reckon we will have the same taste being not far off in age. Hehe.

12) Bob Marley.

13) Tats and a beard is cool.

14) Loves travelling and social work.

This is not in order and I don’t know what I am talking about. The end.

— 17 hours ago with 2 notes
#dating  #men  #love  #partner